Ok I will admit it, I did see you saunter into the place. At first I thought you looked like your bimbo sister Facebook. Sure you did have a sleeker style, and did not blab on like her, but I still did not trust you. Pretty soon everyone in the place wanted you, they hung on every 140 character sentence that came out of your mouth. But the more I listened the more I did not like you and your inane tweets. I did not care that you just had a mocha, or if you could not sleep at 4am.
So I settled down with my head in Postman and McLuhan books and decided to ignore you. The more I read the more I became wary of you. So I began to talk about you behind your back, exposing what a vacuous creature you were. You were reducing language, turning conversation into soundbites, infecting ordinary people with the virus of celebrity.
I should have known however, the popular ones always liked to be ignored. So used to being lavished with attention you could not resist my aloofness, you wanted to get your head around why I hated you when the rest of the world loved you.
That is when it began, you started with sweet little nothings, a few lovely tweets about my books, some kind words about my speaking. Then you really turned on the charm and started sending more and more people towards my blog. Soon you became my blogs biggest advocate.
Despite your advances however I still resisted, others around me who had held out against your cyber magnetism gave in, but I stayed strong.
I steeled myself on the other side of the room, but more and more I found myself glancing at you. After all I have had a thing going with your sister facebook for sometime. Why her and not you?
Maybe I had gotten you wrong? Maybe you could be a force for good? Maybe you could help me get my message out there? Maybe you have matured, grown up, gotten beyond the pointless Oprah retweets and mundane musings? Maybe I had to control you and not be controlled you. Maybe I had to stop using the word maybe?
So ok I am going to finally let you take me out for a coffee, just as friends. No funny business ok?
Follow the possible trainwreck here @sayersmark